this womps

goonpunch:

If using the pull out technique, wrap your legs around his waist when he is about to climax and whisper sensually into his ear “May the odds be ever in your favor”

Work starts in 49 minutes. Here’s hoping they actually want to keep me after today.

Tomorrow will be good. Tomorrow will be good. Tomorrow has to be good. It’s my first day of work, except it’s just a trial shift so they can be like fuck you you suck at making coffee bye and I’ll be like ok sorry for wasting your time.

So.

Tomorrow has to be good. So I can have a job and not be a bum.

• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender
• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender
• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender
• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender
• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender
• The clothes you wear don’t determine your gender

• The clothes you wear also don’t determine your sexual orientation

• The only thing that clothes determine is whether or not you are naked.

lucifersblog:

washingtub:

• Wet hair
• Comb through
• Separate at the part
• Draw a pentagram on the floor
• Perform blood sacrifice
• Offer up your soul to the devil
• Chant ancient Latin conjuration spell
• Summon Satan
• Ask Satan to braid your hair

You know what?

Screw you. I am done braiding people’s hair. Do you know how many braids I have done today?

Thirty-fucking-seven.

And I don’t even get a “Hey Satan how’s it going your cloven hooves look fabulous today” it’s just “Braid it. Go.”

nutella-boy:

kingcheddarxvii:

Wow “kissing” is such a dumb word

“Face battle” sounds way cooler

“may i challenge you to a face battle my good lady”